Gosh this hit home. I’m part of that interstitial zellennial generation that grew up at first in terrified fascination of the Miranda Priestley archetype but later being sold the manic pixie dreamgirlboss as an attainable ideal (disclosure-- I still follow and admire Sophia Amoruso). Personally feeling like I'm in my Andy Sachs era but the messaging i'm getting from the ambient culture and my female mentors is to keep trending in the direction of the Ladyboss because "that's how the game is played."
I'm personally irked that I have to do what the men do in (proverbial, i still work in tech) heels and with a smile-- not because I hate heels, i have a fabulous shoe collection that a slightly more punk-goth Carrie Bradshaw would envy-- but because goddammit I only want to do it if I want to do it.
It remains to be seen if I'll get over being ticked about it to enjoy doing what should be purely delightful, aesthetic feminine things again, despite the incentives to them no longer being purely for my own joy. I feel a reframe coming on...
Thanks for adding this, your perspective is really valuable.
I am not here to tear down the substakers or the girlbosses as much as point out the reality of it all (my diet culture post from a while back is another good example)
I hope that comes through. Nothing easy about Girlbossing. By demanding that women make it look brilliant, convival, hot, stylish, effortless, friendly, aspirational, accessible - I mean, come on - the standard is impossible. Startup life and influencing are HARD.
It took me years to accept what your mentors are telling you.
You can do it your own way (i have, multiple times) but there are tradeoffs and what parenting books call "natural consequences."
As there are no matter what unless you have a lot of family money.
And I know people with family money and lots of strange family entanglements.
Freedom ain't free. 🦅
So wear the shoes for you and if others want to think you're doing it for them, let them.
yes that definitely came through, I was just airing my frustration at having to adjust my own settings 😅
Personally, I don't ascribe judgment or value to being at either extreme of the girlboss/bossbitch spectrum. Both have pros/cons, advantages/disadvantages, benefits and tradeoffs, and we're all just trying to survive out here. I think probably my use of the term "manic pixie dreamgirlboss" probably invoked some negative connotations-- totally not my intention. MPDG(b)'s have gotten an unfair rap in recent years. To be sure, consistently operating from one end of the spectrum simply doesn't always have the desired effects in every domain of life, especially across time. We must evolve and adjust. And where I'm at in life/career, I'm very loudly being called to shift in the aforementioned direction, much to my chagrin.
Again, really enjoyed this piece, and also I appreciate the above insights. Echoing what others have said, you've captured the moment very well here.
Literally ordered new items for my wardrobe this week to step it up. I didn’t know it was my bitchboss era, albeit, not as corporate or demanding (I’m a self employed empty nester) but I’m here for the energy!
This is razor sharp! And weirdly comforting to read because it names something I’ve been circling for months. The Bitchboss isn’t just a vibe shift, it’s a response to collapse. She feels like both an evolution and a haunting.
There’s a part of me that sees her as the system’s last gasp. Repackaging dominance in sharper tailoring, grittier quotes, and aestheticized survival. But another part wonders if she’s just the next adaptation. Capitalism doesn’t die clean—it morphs. It co-opts. Is she the most compelling update yet or just the newest version?
What I keep sitting with is this: the rejection of likability looks liberatory. But if it’s still optimized for external validation, is it a rejection—or just a new kind of performance?
And if that’s true… then where does real power live? The kind that doesn’t need to be seen to be real?
These questions are sticking to my ribs. Thank you for naming the archetype so precisely. It’s helping me track what I want to build next. Love reading your content!
Thanks April. I've been thinking about your comment too. And the truth is, we have no archetype of a strong, adult female that stands in her own steam that is not derogatory in some way.
We see it all around us, we know her, we are her. But the culture hasn't named it. Even how I name it here - Bitchboss - or Jo Piazza's Mean Hots (MAGA only in her world) are still a drag.
The "strong female lead" tshirt hits it in a way, but the label is by definition, also performative. It's an actress! let's keep debating this, together.
And truth, it's not all female.
Return to the office is universal, return of dress codes, all that.
There's something both retro about this shift - if we all look the way we used to when things were more certain in the 20th century, it'll be ok, RIGHT???
And also I think a hunger underneath for armor. Pulled together is optics for in control, upwardly mobile, strong in a time of chaos. It's looking adult, in a time when people in their 30s talk about "adulting." There's a lot more to unpack about true, deep rooted personal power that is really my obsession right now as it will be the requirement for the next phase of existence.
And on some level, everyone looks good in sharp suit. Male, female, young, old, hot, not, everybody.
THANKS for being here and sharing my stuff! I appreciate you as always.
Gosh this hit home. I’m part of that interstitial zellennial generation that grew up at first in terrified fascination of the Miranda Priestley archetype but later being sold the manic pixie dreamgirlboss as an attainable ideal (disclosure-- I still follow and admire Sophia Amoruso). Personally feeling like I'm in my Andy Sachs era but the messaging i'm getting from the ambient culture and my female mentors is to keep trending in the direction of the Ladyboss because "that's how the game is played."
I'm personally irked that I have to do what the men do in (proverbial, i still work in tech) heels and with a smile-- not because I hate heels, i have a fabulous shoe collection that a slightly more punk-goth Carrie Bradshaw would envy-- but because goddammit I only want to do it if I want to do it.
It remains to be seen if I'll get over being ticked about it to enjoy doing what should be purely delightful, aesthetic feminine things again, despite the incentives to them no longer being purely for my own joy. I feel a reframe coming on...
Thanks for adding this, your perspective is really valuable.
I am not here to tear down the substakers or the girlbosses as much as point out the reality of it all (my diet culture post from a while back is another good example)
I hope that comes through. Nothing easy about Girlbossing. By demanding that women make it look brilliant, convival, hot, stylish, effortless, friendly, aspirational, accessible - I mean, come on - the standard is impossible. Startup life and influencing are HARD.
It took me years to accept what your mentors are telling you.
You can do it your own way (i have, multiple times) but there are tradeoffs and what parenting books call "natural consequences."
As there are no matter what unless you have a lot of family money.
And I know people with family money and lots of strange family entanglements.
Freedom ain't free. 🦅
So wear the shoes for you and if others want to think you're doing it for them, let them.
yes that definitely came through, I was just airing my frustration at having to adjust my own settings 😅
Personally, I don't ascribe judgment or value to being at either extreme of the girlboss/bossbitch spectrum. Both have pros/cons, advantages/disadvantages, benefits and tradeoffs, and we're all just trying to survive out here. I think probably my use of the term "manic pixie dreamgirlboss" probably invoked some negative connotations-- totally not my intention. MPDG(b)'s have gotten an unfair rap in recent years. To be sure, consistently operating from one end of the spectrum simply doesn't always have the desired effects in every domain of life, especially across time. We must evolve and adjust. And where I'm at in life/career, I'm very loudly being called to shift in the aforementioned direction, much to my chagrin.
Again, really enjoyed this piece, and also I appreciate the above insights. Echoing what others have said, you've captured the moment very well here.
Literally ordered new items for my wardrobe this week to step it up. I didn’t know it was my bitchboss era, albeit, not as corporate or demanding (I’m a self employed empty nester) but I’m here for the energy!
You are in the zeitgeist! Was tailoring involved?
You always have your finger on the pulse!
This is razor sharp! And weirdly comforting to read because it names something I’ve been circling for months. The Bitchboss isn’t just a vibe shift, it’s a response to collapse. She feels like both an evolution and a haunting.
There’s a part of me that sees her as the system’s last gasp. Repackaging dominance in sharper tailoring, grittier quotes, and aestheticized survival. But another part wonders if she’s just the next adaptation. Capitalism doesn’t die clean—it morphs. It co-opts. Is she the most compelling update yet or just the newest version?
What I keep sitting with is this: the rejection of likability looks liberatory. But if it’s still optimized for external validation, is it a rejection—or just a new kind of performance?
And if that’s true… then where does real power live? The kind that doesn’t need to be seen to be real?
These questions are sticking to my ribs. Thank you for naming the archetype so precisely. It’s helping me track what I want to build next. Love reading your content!
Thanks April. I've been thinking about your comment too. And the truth is, we have no archetype of a strong, adult female that stands in her own steam that is not derogatory in some way.
We see it all around us, we know her, we are her. But the culture hasn't named it. Even how I name it here - Bitchboss - or Jo Piazza's Mean Hots (MAGA only in her world) are still a drag.
The "strong female lead" tshirt hits it in a way, but the label is by definition, also performative. It's an actress! let's keep debating this, together.
And truth, it's not all female.
Return to the office is universal, return of dress codes, all that.
There's something both retro about this shift - if we all look the way we used to when things were more certain in the 20th century, it'll be ok, RIGHT???
And also I think a hunger underneath for armor. Pulled together is optics for in control, upwardly mobile, strong in a time of chaos. It's looking adult, in a time when people in their 30s talk about "adulting." There's a lot more to unpack about true, deep rooted personal power that is really my obsession right now as it will be the requirement for the next phase of existence.
And on some level, everyone looks good in sharp suit. Male, female, young, old, hot, not, everybody.
THANKS for being here and sharing my stuff! I appreciate you as always.
ugh. yes. control. and a Time Machine for finding certainty.
❤️
Haha. It's all made up. Always has been, always will be. We need to stay in on the cosmic joke as much as we can!