Jesus Getting Rebranded (again)
Is God a venture strategy? A financial system? A call to arms? A diet? Yep.
Happy Easter, Passover and Sunday. Let’s talk Jesus.
Move over, Roman empire. Drop that Stoic-a-Day book in the Little Free Library and swap your Marcus Aurelius quotes for the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus is the new power player and he’s taking on new tones to match the Power Brokers of today.
(Nevermind about Luke 12:15 or Matthew 6:24 for now)
I found those Bible quotes on Tithe.ly,1 the “most powerful church SaaS platform in the world.” Their blog helpfully contextualizes them with Millennial Money icons and networking tips:
“An inheritance claimed too soon will not be blessed at the end” (Proverbs 20:21)
Loyalty is one of the most important assets in your relational portfolio.
As the entrepreneur Tim Ferris has wisely said: “Your network is your net worth.”
Know this; The Prosperity Gospel is getting supercharged and those who prevail at the End Times shall be swole from their biceps to their lips to their crypto accounts.
“There are people that are leveraging Christianity to get to Peter Thiel.”
Word is that prayer circles are the new ayahuasca circles in Silicon Valley.
Not simply content to have God-like powers and more money than God, tech overlords are now coming over to Christ—or at least talking about Jesus at networking events. Why not? They already created the greatest conversion tool ever: the algorithm.
Uncynically, they’ve found incredible power and wealth to be spiritually empty. This is valid, important and could be used to do great things. Yet rather than leading a movement to align with the Good Quests of, say, MacKenzie Scott who has already quietly donated
$19.2 BILLION
They’re taking on the world’s oldest thought leadership: proselytizing for personal influence.
Trae Stephens is a leader of this Silicon Valley movement. He’s urging tech folks to turn their talent to Good Quests that can improve the world, despite admitting “I’m literally an arms dealer.”
His wife Michelle founded ACTS 17: Acknowledging Christ in Technology and Society 2 which humbly seeks to “redefine success for those that define culture.”3
Stephens works closely with Thiel, who kicked this off several years ago saying things like “God works through us in building the kingdom of heaven today, here on Earth.”
“Folks were coming up to us saying things like ‘I didn’t know Peter is a Christian,’ ‘How can you be gay and a billionaire and be Christian?,’ ‘I didn’t know you could be smart and a Christian,’ and ‘What can you give me to read or listen to learn more?’” Michelle says.
She didn’t connect any of those dots, so I’m still left wondering how you can be a Christian AND a billionaire who thinks women shouldn’t vote AND profit from things like war and ICE raids. But I’m probably not smart enough to figure it out!
Currently in SF and UAE, ACTS 17 are soon going to London, LA, NYC and, yes, DC.
The Times are Right for Jesus
Some of the Silicon Valley tech-theology poses Jesus as a technology. Meaning a useful system and tool. After a minute, I could see the thinking. Religion was, arguably, the first mass search engine and software used to run things and find answers.
Because God, faith and community and scripture can and does give life purpose, direction and strength. Studies consistently show religious people are happier than non-religious people.
In fairness, over the years MANY women have used their faith as therapy. My own grandma told me as much, verbatim. For centuries, it was their only resource.
Belief as benefit is not just Christian, of course. For example, Icelanders are amongst the most atheist in the world, yet many choose to believe in the Huldufólk or “hidden people” of their Norse ancestors. There are reports that 10% literally believe and up to 70% “believe” to keep the culture alive and sort out the mysteries of life and living in harmony with nature.
They just like it. So they decide it believe it. That is refreshingly honest, but also very Scandinavian.
Overall: Some belief is taught, some discovered, some inherent, some chose, some ground in through violent repetition. See: algorithms.
The Christian decline in the USA recently plateaued. I think it will start rising again, for community, sense of control and hopelessness as well as algorithm. As Poison once said, “Give Me Something to Believe In.”
We’re in a hard age, getting harder, darker, more chaotic. And faith reflects its times. The feel-good self-help Justin Bieber Christianity of the easy mid-aughts isn’t enough.
I predict many lapsed people raised religiously will return to church. I’ve thought about it myself. The week of the inauguration I was listening to old Catholic school songs on youtube (shoutout Glory & Praise Volume 2). I have gotten blank stares and worse when I say being raised very Catholic was a great experience for me.
But those raised in a non-Evangelical church may not go back to what they expect. Un-lapsing Catholics may be confused by the Vance-style traditionalist Catholics going Latin and spurring groups with names like Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
Empathy: Now a Sin?
One new idea starting to take hold on the edges is that Empathy is actually a SIN. 4
The NYTimes conservative Christian op-ed David French spoke against this idea while also platforming it. The timing is right: what a great way to justify ICE raids or dismantling USAID.
As of April 11, a Federal Judge made it legally permissible to conduct ICE raids in churches and hospitals.
Try to read his thesis and you’ll find the Byzantine word salad akin to Jordan Peterson.
And people are questioning how Empathy isn’t Christian. Now.
But repetition makes for acceptance. And the very brandable and repeatable idea of “Sin of Empathy” is one made to take off on X, TikTok and IG.
“I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."
Matthew 10:34. But it was Lauren Boebert who mentioned that Jesus needed more AR-15s. Can’t imagine why someone able to perform miracles would need to be armed with anything more than maybe good sleep, but there are so many ways to take His name in vain.
I’m not even going to unpack the more militant and violent groups here, there are too many and it’s too sad. No, I won’t get into this, this, this, this or the Deus Vult tattoos.5
Just know it’s very easy to find merch with an AR-15 and a cross on it. Or to find a Bible version on an AR-15.
“Post-Oprah Self-Help Christianity”
It’s not all guns. It’s also glam. Girls Gone Bible is a younger Evie. And it’s a juggernaut.
“We look for confidence in our achievements, our appearance, our accomplishments”
These two ex-actresses (IMDB role: “slutty girl”) have blown up the Girls Gone Bible podcast into a powerhouse with 730K+ subscribers, nearly 1M IG followers, live tours and monthly paid content subs. All in 2 years.
After turning to Jesus for mental health, one of the co-creators describes GGB as a "healing ministry” with “the authority of Jesus" as "the power to heal ourselves, to heal others," in the "same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead."
These are not Trad Wives seeking to photogenically milk cows. Social media has raised the goal of being rich, gorgeous and in love which aligns nicely with the Trump era. GGB has a Blonde Kardashian baby voice vibe that’s also very Bama rush, offering a hey-girl sexier soft life, washed in the blood of the lamb.
It’s a very short leap from Prosperity Doctrine to beauty, fitness, eating (fasting and religion are very old friends). Prosperity Gospel IS manifesting, after all.
Every manly Jesus Follower needs a baddie who can attract AND keep that strong male to guide her. And keep her from having to work.
This aligns with guidance from one of the Project 2025 authors:
Oh that Deus Vult again.7
In between talking about Gen Z and Millennial girl topics, GGB says things “I believe submission is, like, the highest form of beauty for a woman” and promote obedient, male-led marriage as life goal. Here’s a quote from a listener:
It’s a battle - just like the one against cellulite and wrinkles. And the girls are winning!
It’s just good business, which they know. Both worked as “poker girls” in LA, working the underground high-stakes circuit as servers/party girls.
Tough work. Great training in human psychology and negotiation. And ideal fodder for a redemption arc.
The Rightest Gemstone: Trump’s Personal Pastor
While vengeful Christ is definitely male-coded, behind every great man is a woman. The Conspirituality convergence of the New Agers and QAnon is old news, but it may push New Agey vibes out of the older social sphere with Jesus at the wheel.
I can see Jesus taking over for woo-woo with the med-spa aesthetic for the middle age set. The beauty business has always been about what’s new, and Christianity’s eternal life” dovetails well with longevity as the new anti-aging.
Perhaps the architect will be Trump’s Spiritual Advisor, Paula White.
She is the leader of the new Faith Office in the White House. Fun Fact: Her husband is the keyboardist for Journey. Fill in your own “Don’t Stop Believin’” reference here. I think that’s him helping her sell the Easter blessings for a $1000 “GIFT. ” BTW: her ministry is a non-profit.
The aesthetic needs work. This not IG-able. Very 90s Christian bookstore.
But overall, Paula’s on the right track:
NOTE: The addition of BODY per the new Prosperity Doctrine. Beauty and fitness make a LOT of coin.
It didn’t take long to find this:
To paraphrase Virginia Sole Smith: Is Jesus a Diet?
A 7-week program of at-home exercises, nutrition and Biblical references to being your best. Google her and this Freudian thumbnail of a basement cardio-studio comes up.
It’s probably accidental. But any spiritual person - woo, Evangelical, old Catholic grandma or otherwise - will tell you there are no accidents.
BTW Christian Fitness influencers aren’t at all new:
The Parallel Economy
There is an attempt at building a Parallel Economy of scaled Christian industries. Think Christian banks, cell phone providers, energy companies, tech. Large scale, not just the the neighborhood Christian insurance agents, contractors or car repair that have always been around. (Just like Muslim or Jewish local businesses.)
RFK Jr spoke it a convention for it last year, called RePlatform.
Marketers: I think this all signals a different sort of “Belief” and muscularity that will increasingly seep into the cultural conversation.
Mission-led, better for you and lifestyle brands will become increasingly influenced by this. The moment is being framed as a battle. Rise up or reposition.
To me takeaways are:
Stronger language - No more peace love and cocoa puffs. Go big and bold.
Taking sides - Fear of offending anyone is very 2024.
Stronger visuals - Gut over brain.
Strange bedfellows - this is not a time to go it alone. Pursue stronger forms of collab and
MAHA is coming for your Whole Foods Space. MAHA will be rolling out of its own new brands in better-for-you and “cause” spaces. It’s been happening for a while but coastal/co-op bubble vision prevented people from seeing it. I’ve written about it before.
But also do not assume all of your consumers are liberal. This has probably never been the case and it is unlikely to be the case —until MAHA goes full marketing, tariffs permitting.
It’s a Quickbooks for churches, offering donation transaction rates for a Godly < 1%.
The 17 is for a scripture in ACTS which Paul goes to Greece and tries to convert Stoic types “the intellectuals” to Jesus.
This could be an amazingly powerful moment for real good and sanity in tech. Possible?
Sadly, this “theology” was fomented in my town of Minneapolis. You may find it today at Bethlehem College and Seminary, a proud institution of 83 students and a 100% acceptance rate. Its former pastor and author of this book was run out of town.
Typically shortened from Deus Vult Eam maybe because it looks better on biceps?
See: Pete Hegseth’s arm.
Gratitude! Thank you. Thought provoking. Love your newsletter!!
Fab and very well researched post. I love your observations on culture especially the ones from far outside my bubble. And the parallel between tech & religion (“the oldest search engine”) are definitely worth more pondering!