Satanic Abortion Clinic & the Most Interesting Brand in Freedom Fighting
The Satanic Temple may be too intelligent for these times, but God bless them
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Has your scroll served up a headline on the new “satanic” telehealth abortion clinic?
If not, let it be known there are now two of them working to close the gap in reproductive care in the US, both funded by The Satanic Temple.
I urge you to listen to this excellent podcast for the real story in how these clinics operate, who’s operating them and who is using them. It’s perhaps not what you’d imagine (no demonic customer service operators).
TST, as they are called, first got on my radar years ago for a statue in Little Rock, Arkansas. They apparently decided monuments weren’t enough.
For those familiar with Satanic Panic of the late 80s, the Temple of Satan may conjure Tipper Gore, playing a Black Sabbath Record backwards or a sudden desire to watch The Craft.
But fundamentalism always has consequences, such as these wrongfully imprisoned teens and others targeted at the time. 1
A Brand Courting Controversy
What would the Temple’s brand look like? Pretty much exactly what you’d expect. But amidst the black and red and horns, there’s a strong— dare I say wicked (har-har but seriously)—sense of humor.
From The Temple’s FAQ:
The name of the first clinic is Samuel Alito’s Mom’s Satanic Abortion Clinic.
And the customer KPIs are enviable in today’s environment where less than half of Americans think US healthcare quality is good or excellent and 21% think it’s flat-out poor.
While there is loose talk of ministry here and there, the focus is combatting (mostly Christian) religiosity taking over American life.
Is TST actually about Satan in any way, shape or form?
Or is Satan just a great brand property and available IP to attach a brand mission to?
One that gets attention, focuses a story and lets the copy and promo prices right themselves with minimal fuss or muss ($666 shows up with some frequency) ?
Feels like the latter but I can’t say for sure.
A Mission-Driven Organization (and 501c3)
The Temple of Satan describes its mission thusly:
To Encourage Benevolence And Empathy, Reject Tyrannical Authority, Advocate Practical Common Sense, Oppose Injustice, And Undertake Noble Pursuits.
It’s a “freedom from religion” organization.
Their tenets are pulled from the Enlightenment and read much like the principles of a Waldorf or Montessori kindergarten.
Founded by a GenXer who studied neuroscience at Harvard, it’s hard to parse out how much is religion and how much is Freedom from Religion. Feels like the latter.
Some of their civic works, in their words:
Publicly confronted hate groups
Fought for the abolition of corporal punishment in public schools
Applied for equal representation when religious installations are placed on public property
Provided religious exemption and legal protection against laws that unscientifically restrict people's reproductive autonomy
Exposed harmful pseudo-scientific practitioners in mental health care
Providing menstrual products in schools
Service to homeless shelters, veteran’s programs and animal shelters.
Merch Merch Merch
Like any modern brand they’re fund-raising via goods. The collegiate-style Hail Satan sweatshirt a step away from the heavy metal aesthetic. But you can get artisan pottery, Spiced Chai Candles ($25), handy glow in the dark key chains ($15) and t-shirts ideal for last-minute Halloween shopping or for that Goth in your life.
Tricksters Needed
We are currently in a world where a malevolent trickster Right is coming for books, contraception, divorce and obviously abortion.
As I’ve said:
Say what you will about the Trumpers, they have a damn good time. Populists party.
As Jessica Tarlov of Fox News said, “People love the way Donald Trump makes them feel.” And she’s not wrong.
A benevolent Satanic Libertarian movement based in a spooky Salem, Massachusetts house (rentable) may be just what we need in dark times.
With all the Luciferian gothic type and psychobilly-esque graphics of the TST, it’s hard to see it going full mainstream.
And yet…
The on-point trolling combined with incredibly effective action is perfectly executed, spot-on for this post-everything era.
While the vibe does feel rather GenX, I can see GenZ staffers making this their own.
Either way, it’s a call, again, for female and liberal causes to have more fun fighting the good fight in their branding. The pink pussy hats didn’t get us too far.
Holy Advent Calendars
How weird is the relentless rise of commercialized Advent Calendars? Can’t find a revenue stat from 2023 but tiktoks on beauty advents alone were big biz last year.
This boring as hell video on the Sephora has 2.5M views already:
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I’m feeling the realism here (a mere 1M views) but MY GOD the packaging for all those little travel sizes.
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P.S. An interesting comic about miscarriage under abortion restrictions.
Or today’s version: Florida or a Texas hospital parking lot. So many ways to deathrow.
Instant convert!